The Art of Starting Over - Part 3: Bianca’s New Beginning

Oct 15, 2025

So she closed the doors to her dance studio, closed her eyes, and jumped into his arms. It felt safer there, or so she thought.

Bianca loved him, or it could have been that she was more in love with the idea of him, more captured by what he could provide. Her parents had always told her, “Just find a good rich man and you’ll be okay.” They believed that was the key to a stable life. And in a way, their dream came true.

She had it all; house, car, clothes, vacations. Even the children felt like a symbol of her success. Of course, she loved them deeply, but sometimes she couldn’t shake the feeling that they were part of his way of keeping her tied to him.

When Comfort Becomes a Cage

Thirteen years of marriage went by faster than she could have imagined. Before that, Bianca was proud of being independent. She was the only one in her circle building something of her own—a dance studio that kept her busy, fulfilled, but also broke.

Back then, she was stressed but happy. The studio struggled month to month, but it was hers. Then he came along. He was successful and eager to “help.” Sure of himself, but she later found out sure didn’t mean confidence. At times his insecurity would get the best of him and he’d tear her down to feel better about himself. She’d let him do it, because he was really mean when he got upset. She didn’t want to upset him.

“Sure, you can dance,” he’d tease, “but you don’t know how to run a business. You’re a terrible business woman. Why do you stress yourself out so much? Let me take care of you.”

So she let him. And little by little, she stopped taking care of herself. Now, thirteen years later, the bills were gone, but so was her joy. She had more stress but she also had more happiness. She doesn’t have financial stress anymore, but she traded it for emotional stress. 

Preparing for Change

By year ten, Bianca knew the marriage wasn’t working. She didn’t make any rash moves. Instead, she started preparing—mentally, emotionally, and financially. She didn’t know what the next chapter would look like, but she knew she wanted to be ready when it arrived.

She began saving quietly. When something cost $100, she’d tell him it cost $200 and save the rest. She skipped a few hair appointments, he never noticed. He wasn’t paying attention to her anymore. She’d also cut small corners where she could to save. It felt good to watch her account grow.

It became her private game, one she played with focus and precision, just like those ballroom dance competitions she used to win.

Each deposit represented freedom. She was teaching herself to live on less, to lower her lifestyle from luxury to balance.

Her parents would have been horrified—seventy-five thousand dollars a year? That would’ve sounded like failure to them. But to Bianca, it felt like peace.

She was done with “financial freedom.” She wanted financial harmony—a life where money had meaning, and peace was the real luxury.

Building a New Life

These days, things are different. Not as fancy, but definitely freer. The stress isn’t completely gone. There are things that concern her but nothing a fluffy robe and a cup of handcrafted tea can’t fix. Her selfcare routine is back. She’s taking care of herself inside and out. 

She traded her dance studio for a meditation studio, and it brings in enough to support her new life. She’s no longer throwing money at problems or pretending that they’re not there. She’s found balance. Not the same amount on one said as the other kind of balance. The kind of balance that means that each area of life has enough to fulfill her. That kind of balance is priceless.

And that “good rich man” her parents told her to find? Turns out, they were right. Now, she has three of them: an accountant, a lawyer, and a financial advisor. Probably not what they meant, but it's her new trio of stability.

She’s not sleeping with the enemy anymore. He’s still around for the kids—barely—but she doesn’t lose sleep over him. When he criticizes her business skills, she just laughs. “No, I haven’t made a million dollars,” she thinks, “but I have a million dollars’ worth of peace.” “What do you have?” 

She pays herself $96,000 a year, more than what she needs but enough to support her children while keeping her life simple. The kids are used to a certain lifestyle and she finds it hard to say no to them. 

Learning to Live Differently

It’s not perfect. She’s doing her healing work daily. She’s still learning to say no to others and yes to herself. She’s learned that “one day at a time” isn’t just a saying for people in recovery, it’s a way of life we can all embrace.

That mentally helps her control the controllables, release what she can’t, and finally sleep peacefully at night.

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